By Elaine

Act 4: First Nights

[Our three heroines are headed to the bathroom,
ready to relax in a tub of warm water after all
the day's excitement]

Sakura: Well, it's been weird so far, hasn't it?

Ch-Akane: Yeah, I can't wait to just take off all
these wet clothes and sink into something nice and
hot.

Cammy-zu: (agreeing) Bweeee...

Sakura: (opens door to bathroom, it's a changing
room) How quaint! (starts taking off clothes)

Ch-Akane: Geez, I was dirtier than I thought.
This is what happens when you travel a lot, I
guess...

Sakura: Mmm hmmm. (pushes open door to the
bathroom)

Gal: Yauuugh!

Sakura: YIKES!

Gal: (trying to cover herself with a towel) C-can't
you guys knock?

Ch-Akane: Oh, what's the big deal? We're all girls
anyway. (steps in)

Sakura: Honestly, don't have to go scaring people
like that!

Gal: ... (looks away)

Ch-Akane: Ah! Is this water great or what? (Lowers
herself in and transforms)

Sakura: (drops pig into tub) Here, Cammy-chan. Have
fun!

Cammy: (transformed) Oh my GOD, does this 'ere
water feel nice! It's not easy being a pig, ya
know?

Chun Li: Hey, um...girl?

Gal: What? (still looking away)

Chun Li: We never got you're name...

Gal: R-Ranma...I mean...uh...

Sakura: Alright Ranma...isn't that a guy's name?

Ranma: Y-yeah...(blushing furiously)

Chun Li: Well, are you going to join us or what?

Ranma: (blushing even harder) No, No...I'll just
g-go now...(turns to the door, only to crash into
a fully naked Akane too) Oh no...

Akane: RANMA YOU PERV!!

Ranma: I-I was just going out!

Akane: HOW DARE YOU BUMP INTO ME?

Ranma: (hotly) Well, you're a little big to jump
over...(realizes the bad choice of words) Uh oh,
Akane...I didn't mean it that...

Akane: SO YOU'RE CALLING ME FAT?!? RANMA NO BAKA!
(Swings giant mallet and smacks Ranma into the
hot tub)

Sakura: Jesus, girl. Isn't it unhealthy maintaining
that high a blood pressure?

Akane: (finally notices people in the room) Uh...
(realizes what she's done while people are in the
room) uh oh...

Ranma: (breaks surface of the water) Damn it,
Akane! Why the hell did you just do that? Don't
you understand I was just trying to LEAVE?!?

Akane: (sweating) Uh...R-ranma? (points at
other people)

Ranma: Yes, I'm AWARE THEY'RE THERE! Why else do
you think I was trying to go? But nooo!

Akane: Th-That's not what I meant...

Chun Li: (taps him on the shoulder) Hey! You're a
male!

Ranma: OF COURSE I'M MALE! (gets hit with an
epiphany) Oh man... (braces for incoming calls of
pervert etc.)

Sakura: You sure?

Cammy: Of course she's sure. And WOW! He's eva a
'ottie! (sidles up to Ranma) Hey Sugarcakes, what
about you and me 'ere alone?

Chun Li: Another of those Girl Spring victims I
guess...*sigh* If only it were Ry...

Ranma: Um um um...(trying to avoid Cammy)

Akane: (shocked look)

Cammy: Well what about it?

Chun Li: Cammy! Stop teasing the poor boy! (pulls
her away from him)

Cammy: Oh come on, he didn't feel like a boy, if
you know what I'm sayin'...(smirks)

Akane: (starts steaming) RAAAANMAAA...

Chun Li: I...um...Cammy, I think he's already spoken
for...(points to the boiling Akane)

Cammy: Are you his girlfriend?

Akane: (shocked out of steamin') What? Me? NO!

Ranma: Me date an uncute Tomboy like her? HELL NO!

Akane: (screaming, to Ranma) SO I'M THAT REPULSIVE
HUH? WELL LEAVE THEN! (bats Ranma into the air)

Chun Li: (staring at Ranma's retreating form) Are you
sure that's a good idea?

Akane: (snappy) What?

Chun Li: Well...hitting him out of the dojo...I mean,
he's gonna have to run around in the streets naked
now, right?

Akane: (turning to leave) Hmmmph, what do I care? I'm
sure one of his fiancées will be happy to see him
that way...

Sakura: Fiancées?

[So, after the disturbing incidents in the bathroom,
our heroes felt that it was time to start dinner.
And start it they did...Thankfully, Ranma was able
to join after racing as fast as he could back to the
Dojo. Because there were six new guests, Kasumi
had added a table and prepared a grand little feast
in an orderly Kasumi fashion.]

Chun Li: My, Kasumi...this is delicious.

Ryu: (between mouthfuls) Your cooking is
impeccable...

Kasumi: (smiling sweetly) Thank you.

Nabiki: (looking away and muttering) Freeloaders...

Ken: (stuffing another pile of rice in his face)
Whajusay?

Kasumi: Nothing, I'm sure...more rice, Ken-san?

Ken: Shure! (receives another helping)

Charlie: I'll have one too!

Ranma: (wide eyed) A-ano...they eat more than I do...

Akane: (staring at a busily eating Cammy) E-even the
girls...

Nabiki: (holds head in hands) This is gonna cost a
fortune...

Chun Li: Hmmm...(looks around) So do you kids live
here by yourself?

Kasumi: (thinks) kids? Oh, of course not!
There's always our daddy...and Ranma's father.

Chun Li: Oh...and where are they now?

Kasumi: Well, actually I thought they were right
here...but when Nabiki went to check on them a few
minutes ago, they were gone. (sighs) I suppose it's
become a habit of theirs to disappear and reappear
mysteriously. (pauses) Which reminds me...I don't
mean to pry but...

Ryu:...what are we doing here? (Kasumi nods politely)

Sakura: Well, as you guys can tell, we visited the
Cursed Springs of Jusyenko. I was the only person
on our trip who didn't fall into one.

Charlie: Lucky...(thinks of turning into a tentacle
and sheds a tear)

Sakura: When the Jusyenko guide found us, he invited
us to his hut and promised a cure to the curse.

Ranma: (perks up) Cure?

Sakura: (nods) His daughter...I think her name was
Plum...was a striving chemist and had supposedly
found some chemicals that altered whatnot. Only, the
guide wasn't able to find it...

Ken: And he accidentally gave us some youth formula.
(sigh)How am I supposed to go back to Eliza like
this?

Akane: Who's Eliza?

Ken: (sighs again) My wife...God, I miss her...

Ranma: (really interested) So anyways, about this
cure...

Sakura: Yes, well. Plum and the guide weren't sure
where it went so they told us to come to Nerima and
contact the "Tendo Dojo". He said that this place
was basically the center for all Cursed activity.

Nabiki: Feh, true enough...

Sakura: So we traveled here and met you guys. I
think we're gonna hafta wait here till the guide
comes for us.

Ranma: (eagerly) Bringing the cure?

Chun Li: (raises an eyebrow) Yes, bringing the cure.
Though why YOU'D want to change is rather surprising.
You make a good looking girl...(smiles sweetly)

Ranma: Er...(blushes)

Akane: Don't flatter him. His ego's already too large
enough to choke an elephant.

Ranma: Shut up, it's not my fault I'm not a flat
chested fatso like you.

Akane: (narrowing eyes) What did you just say?

Kasumi: (raps spoon on table) Akane, Ranma! Not in
front of the guests...

Cammy: Hey, you bloody bugger! Stop taking all my
food! (whacks Ken)

Ken: Try and stop me, Porky!

Cammy: Grrr, shut up, you mutt!

Ken: All you're worth is slop!

Cammy: Stick it up your-

Chun Li: Cammy, Ken! Not in front of our hosts!

Ryu: (rolls eyes) I'm very sorry about their
behavior. The dinner was wonderful.

Nabiki: So...um...how long are all six of you staying
here?

Chun Li: Oh hopefully not long. I should get back to
work before summer ends.

Akane: That's in around two weeks.

Chun Li: (nods brightly) Yes, I really hope that's
enough time for the guide to get here.

Nabiki: (busily typing away at a calculator,
muttering) If they eat this much every meal...plus
the overuse of batfacilities...and then if I
add a little extra just in case of property damage...
(looks at total) Oh my God!

Ken: What? (peers over Nabiki's shoulder) Is that how
much we're gonna cost you?

Nabiki: (sort of pale) F-for two weeks...3,000,000
yen!

[FYI: Right now, the exchange rate for US dollars
and Japanese dollars are about 1:104...so 3 mill. yen
in the states would be about 30 grand.]

Kasumi: (scandalized) Nabiki! To tell that to a
guest?

Ken: 3,000,000? (shrugs and reaches for duffel bag)
Alright then. Takes out a huge wad of bills. I spent
a little more than I thought I would on the trip so
I only have...um...(counts it out) 900,000 with me.
I'm not sure which accounts I can access yet...but
here...

[: Just like Ken to carry around 9 grand in
cash, eh? ^_^]

Nabiki: (staring at the money) You carry around that
much money in a duffel bag?

Ryu: I have some with me...not a lot. I don't make
quite as much money as my friend...(hands her 50,000)

Cammy: I'm broke.

Sakura: (shrugs) I'm a student.

Charlie: I work for the army. They pay like crap...
but I can contribute this...(gives her 1,000)

Chun Li: Hmmm...I have some money on me...(takes out
20,000) Sorry...it's not alot. I don't take a lot of
money with me on vacations. (smiles) We'll make the
rest later.

Kasumi: Oh my, this really is very unnecessary. We
would have been happy to let you stay for free. Right
Nabiki?

Nabiki: (counting) 920,000...921,000...

Ranma: God, you guys are loaded.

Ken: Street Fighting. It's very profitable. Hmmm, I
wonder if there's any rings around Nerima.

Chun Li: Yeah, that'd be fun. (yawns) But tomorrow...
I'm pooped.

Cammy: Same 'ere...

Kasumi: (facing the problem of who sleeps where) Oh
dear...um...Nabiki?

Nabiki: (looking up from the money) What?

Kasumi: Can I board with you for a night?

Nabiki: (back to the money) Sure, just don't touch
anything.

Kasumi: Great. Then two of the girls can have my
room. Someone can stay with Akane and the boys can
sleep in the dojo. Perfect! (smiles happily) Shall
we go off then?

***
[In Akane's room]

Akane: (unrolling a spare futon) So..um...how long
ARE you staying?

Chun Li: (frowns) I don't know. I hope I'll be
leaving before summer ends...I still have to get
Bison, you know? And manage those imbeciles at
Interpol...(helps Akane with the futon)

Akane: (blank look) Bison? Interpol?

Chun Li: (dismisses it with a wave) Nothing to worry
your teenage head about. (smiles) Wow, this is so
weird! I feel like I'm reliving my childhood.

Akane: (another blank look)...

Chun Li: Stop looking at me like that. (plops down
on the futon, Akane plops in hers) Ah...nothing like
a good rest after an overly busy day, don't you
think?

Akane: I guess...

Chun Li: (turns over so she can look up at Akane) So,
your sister tells you and Ranma are an item.

Akane: NO WE'RE NOT! I WOULDN'T MARRY THAT PERVERT
HALF A GIRL IF PIGS STARTED FLYING AND LIFE AS WE
KNOW IT CEASED TO EXIST!

Ranma: (from the floor below): YEAH? WELL I WOULDN'T
MARRY AN UNCUTE TOMBOY LIKE YOU EVEN IF THE SUN
STOPPED SHINING AND THE MOON FELL TO PIECES!

Chun Li: (covering ears) He's almost poetic. You
don't have to scream though, Akane. It's just you and
me. And who said anything about marriage?

Akane: Oh, my sisters didn't tell you? I'm engaged
to the half-wit. (grumbles under her breath)

Chun Li: Engaged? Aren't you a bit young to make such
life-altering decisions?

Akane: Yes. But tell that to my dad! It was an arranged
marriage.

Chun Li: (wide eyed) You mean those things still happen?

Akane: Only to me...and Ranma. (sighs)

Chun Li: So...how long have you guys been engaged?

Akane: Since birth. But I only found out about it less
than a year ago. You see, one day out of the blue, he and
his dad just showed up out of nowhere and waltzed into
our house asking to be engaged. And my sisters volunteered
me because I didn't like guys and he was half-female.

Chun Li: (giggles) I don't see what you're so upset
about...I think he's...rather cute. And he's got a
great body, guy or girl.

Akane: He's loud, he's mean, he never fails to insult
me, he's confusing, he's...a big pain. (sighs)

Chun Li: (shrugs) He's male. What do you expect? But
that body...(gets dreamy eyed)...if I was engaged
to someone that hot, I would be sooo happy...

Akane: Oh yeah, and every time he says he'll help
me train, he won't hit me...

Chun Li: Ah...a macho type (nods knowingly) The
outdated code of chivalry and what not?

Akane: Yeah. It's so annoying. (sighs) Besides, I'm
not the only person he's engaged to. There's two
more fiancées...

Chun Li: Two more?

Akane: Long story. Maybe I'll tell it to you
some other time. (yawns) Now it's a little late. I
have some errands to run tomorrow.

Chun Li: Well, G'night then. (turns over)

Akane: G'night.

[Meanwhile, in the Nabiki's room]

Nabiki: Sometimes I wonder about you, Kasumi.

Kasumi: Hmmm?

Nabiki: How can you be so friggin...nice?

Kasumi: (fluffs her pillow) Don't swear, Nabiki.

Nabiki: (rolls eyes) Sorry, Onee-san. But really.
Doesn't it get tiring sometimes?

Kasumi: Tiring? Well...no...I don't believe so. I
never found it tiring. (thinks for a moment) I
suppose if I really wanted to, I could be as mean
and nasty as everyone else, but where would the good
in that be? Why do you ask?

Nabiki: (shrugs) Just crossed my mind. So you never
get even the least bit annoyed when random people
appear at our doorstep demanding food and shelter?

Kasumi: (giggles pleasantly) Oh no. I think that's
your job. You shouldn't be so stressed, Nabiki. It's
unhealthy...and they paid already, remember?

Nabiki: Only for the next week or so...You of all
people should know how much cost can escalate though.
Especially with Ranma around. Just last month HE
alone caused...like...ten thousand yen of damage. And
not to mention Akane, and dad, and Uncle Genma...

Kasumi: Well, we can't throw them all out now can we?

Nabiki: (sighs) I know. But if you haven't noticed,
none of us have a real job. We've been sinking deeper
and deeper into debt ever since mom died. I-I'm
trying to alleviate the situation but...

Kasumi: I know, Ki-chan. (reaches over and hugs her)
You've been doing a good job. Something will come up
though, you'll see.

Nabiki: (hugs her back) I hope you're right.

Kasumi: Of course I am. Now go to sleep. I'm sure you
have things you need to do tomorrow...I myself have
a few extra meals to cook...

Nabiki: Okay. (silence for a moment) Don't you ever get
tired of doing housework?

Kasumi: (sleepily) Hmmm?

Nabiki: Well, I was just thinking...if I was forced to
sweep the floors, mop the windows, clean the dojo, wash
the clothes and do the dishes everyday I'd go crazy.

Kasumi: I'm glad I'm appreciated.

Nabiki: Well, don't you get sick of it? It's so...menial.

Kasumi: Actually, I find that it helps me relax. Housework
is just another form of meditation, you know. You should
try it some time.

Nabiki: (skeptically) Sure...

Kasumi: No really. Tomorrow let's wash the dishes together.
It can be a sister-sister thing. I promise you, you'll
feel a lot better.

Nabiki: Whatever.

Kasumi: But for now, I think we should try and get some
sleep, unless you have any other questions...

Nabiki: (yawns) None more. Good Night, Onee-san.

Kasumi: G'night, Nabiki. (waits patiently for her sister's
form to fall into a state of slumber before opening the
window...stares at the moon and sighs sadly) Oh Mother,
what would you do if you were here...

[Meanwhile...the three males had taken up residence on
the Tendo dojo floor and were engaged in a rather animated
conversation...]

Ryu: (loud snore)

Ken: (loud snore)

Charlie: (loud snore)

Ryu: (louder snore)

Ken: (louder snore)

Charlie: (louder snore)

[and on the floor right above it, in Kasumi's room, two
girls were trying unsuccessfully to ignore them]

Noise from downstairs: SNOOOORE!

Cammy: (hands on ears) My God! Those stupid buggers
downstairs...

Sakura: (hands on ears also) What did you say? I can't
hear you!

Cammy: (whaps floor) Hey you downstairs! Shut up!

(The snoring stops and the two breathe a sigh of relief)

Noise from downstairs: (silence)

Sakura: Oh thank the Lord! Nwe can get some sleep...

Cammy: Good night finally...

Noise from downstairs: (with vengeance) SNOOOOOOOOOOORE!

Cammy and Sakura: (sweatdropping)