By Elaine

I don't think I can explain
These changes coming over me
I don't know who I am anymore
Can you tell me who you see?
What do I do, how do I
Beat these feelings down
My heads a spinnin', my knees are weak
And my feet can't touch the ground.

So can you help me please
This is something I can't fight
And I don't really know
If I'm handling this right...

I don't think you understand
The urgency of this situation
And I don't think these subtle twists
Were part of the whole equation
Hold me closer, grasp my hand
And we've got it all made
But why the hell can't I do this alone?
Why am I so afraid?

So can you help me please
This is something I can't fight
And I don't really know
If I'm handling this right

Help me please...

Act 7: Promises Are Promises

[It's early Saturday morning at the dojo, and Ranma's snoring up a
storm. The fathers still haven't come back from where ever they have
gone so Ranma gets the guest room to himself. He looks so content, so
peaceful, that she almost feels guilty about waking him up.
Almost...]

Akane: (very VERY loudly) OHAYO RANMA!

Ranma: GAAAAAAAAAHHHH! I didn't mean it I swear! (looks around wildly
and sees Akane) oh...uh, hi Akane. What are you doing up so early?
(yawns sleepily)

Akane: Well, since you promised me you'd train me today, I thought
we should get an early start. I can't tell you how glad I am you
changed your mind! (giggles) Oh yeah, and I made you breakfast. (takes
out a tray full of...well...no one knows. There's a blackened lump of
charcoal on one side of the plate smothered with a buttery like
substance, and a mishmash of yellow runny gook on the other)

Ranma: (shudders in horror) Geezuz, Akane. What are you trying to do?
Kill me before our training starts? (screams as an eye emerges from the
runny gook)

Akane: (uses fork to pop the eye) Come on now! It's not that bad.
Eggs and Toast are good for you in the morning. (pleading eyes) Please
just taste it, Ranma?

Ranma: (shakes head and backs away) Nuh-uh. Unlike some people, I
value my innards!

Akane: (getting angry) So you won't even try it? Maybe it tastes
better than it looks.

Ranma: Not over my dead body. Your cooking never tastes better than it
looks.

Akane: (sniffling) FINE THEN! I got up SO early this morning just so
I could make you a complimentary breakfast and now you won't accept
it. (tears form in eyes) I'll just go now.

Ranma: (sees Akane close to crying) Wuh-wuh-wait! I-I didn't mean any
disrespect...

Akane: (avoiding his eyes) N-no, I understand. Nothing I do is ever
good enough for you. I just wanted to make today's breakfast a
special one because you were so nice to me last night. But if you
don't want it...

Ranma: NO NO NO! That's not what I meant...what I meant was... (looks
at Akane not looking at him) Aw hell. Hand over the food.

Akane: (Brightens) You'll try it?

Ranma: (thinking: What the hell am I doing?) Yeah, I'll try it.
(takes a piece of the 'bread', dips it in the 'eggs' and stuffs it into
his mouth. Gags but tries not to show it) GRMmm...

Akane: Well, do you like it.

Ranma: (swallows with difficulty. smiles weakly) It's... very...
special...(suddenly turns green) Igottagotothebathroomnowtochange,
meetyoubytheKoipondBYE!!! (runs out of the room...in the distance is
a loud HURKing sound)

Ken: (walking by) Woah, thank God HE made it to the restroom.

Charlie: Dayam...what's the matter with him?

Cammy: Ew...I don't think I want to know.

Akane: (sighs) I guess this means he won't be eating the rest of this.
Any of you guys want it?

Cammy: EEK! IT'S ALIVE!!!! (points to eyeball)

Akane: (stabs eyeball with fork again and again) I assure you, it's
quite dead.

Charlie: FOOD! I'm famished. (takes plate from Akane and shoves the
mess into his mouth. swallows) Aahh...thanks 'kane. (whistles a happy
tune and walks off)

Ken: H-he ate that?

Akane: Woah...I don't think I've seen anyone scarf down my food that
fast...

(Charlie suddenly stops, goes into convulsions and falls to the floor)

Cammy: (puts hands to face) OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED CHARLIE!!!

Sakura: (popping out from nowhere) Who's the bastard?

Akane: I-I didn't kill him, did I? (looks very scared)

Ken: One way to find out. (walks up to Charlie and puts his mouth by
Charlie's ear) YO KNUCKLEHEAD! WAKE UP ALREADY!!!

Charlie: (jumps up) Yipe! Wow, that mean was a real zinger...(sighs
happily) Reminds me of my military base days where we'd fry rats
and eat them with left over leather...MmHMmm! I didn't think I'd
taste food that bad ever again.

Akane: BAKA!!! (hits Charlie through the roof)

Ken:...o_O

Cammy:...0_0

Sakura: O_O...Er...we'llbegoingnow! Bye! (all three rush off)

~*~*~

[A little while later...near the koi pond. Ryu and
Chun Li are standing by and watching. Ranma is wearing his normal
red Chinese shirt and some black sports pants. Akane's wearing a
white karate gi and has a headband to keep her hair out of her
eyes. The two are currently sparring...sort of...]

Akane: Stop ducking and actually hit me!

Ranma: You're too slow!

Akane: (lunges forward and tries to lay a punch on him, Ranma
sidesteps and jumps away) GAH! (She charges to her right and tries a
roundhouse, but that misses too as he ducks)

Ranma: SLOWPOKE! SLOWPOKE! NYAAA! (pulls an eyelid)

Akane: STAY STILL!!(getting visibly angrier as she tries a low kick
which he hops over)

Ranma: Snails have better timing than you do! (flips over her head
and lands behind her. Pokes her tauntingly in the back before
springing away) I've seen turtles with faster reflexes!

Akane: (Kicks behind. He strafes around her) I SAID STAY STILL!!

Ranma: About as graceful as a bull in a china shop. (slides to her
left and pokes her in the side, causing her to yelp)

Akane: GRRRR...(pulls out 100kg hammer from nowhere) Ranma no Bak-

Chun Li: KIOKEN!

Ranma: (in mid jump) Huh? Yipes! (gets blasted into pond by the Chi
projectile, successfully splashing everyone)

Ryu-onna: (wipes water out of eyes) Thank you Chun Li.

Chun-Akane: Sorry, I didn't expect that to happen. (shrugs and walks
over to Akane)

Ranma-onna: (indignantly) GLUB! GLUB! GLUB!

Chun-Akane: Sorry about that to. But this isn't a sparring match, it's
a 'how-long-can-I-taunt-the-girl-before-she-flips' contest. Ranma,
you obviously don't know how to teach her.

Akane: (huffing slightly) I agree.

Ranma-onna: (shakes herself off) It's not my fault she's not good
enough.

Akane: Hey!

Ryu-onna: Not everyone's as good as you are to start out with, Ranma.
That's why you're supposed to teach them.

Chun-Akane: Allow me to demonstrate. Akane, face me.

Akane: ... Are you sure about this?

Chun-Akane: Sure, we'll have a REAL training match. (gets into fighting
position)

Akane: O-Okay... (gets into fighting position in front of her)

Ryu-onna: (in commentator voice) FIGHT!

Akane: Hya! (rushes at Chun Li and throws a fist, which Chun Li
blocks)

Chun-Akane: You left yourself open. (pulls a punch at Akane's stomach
before stepping back. Her movements are concentrated and slower)
Now try that again.

Akane: Oof...(rubs her stomach and nods) Hya! (throws a fist at her
again which is blocked again, but this time Chun Li's returning punch
is blocked. Chun Li makes a roundhouse that Akane blocks also)

Chun-Akane: Good, you're defending yourself better. Now try to hit
me...

Akane: Hai. (proceeds to release a variety of punches and kicks while
Chun Li stays in the same place and blocks them all. She frowns and
makes an elbow jab right at Chun Li's chest)

Chun-Akane: KYAA! (grabs the outstretched elbow and flips Akane over
her head)

Akane: WOooAH! (Flies through the air)

Ranma-onna: Akane! (Catches her) What do you think you're doing?!

Akane: (red faced) You can put me down Ranma, it's not like I'm
going to die or anything. (pushes him away)

Ranma-onna: But you could've landed wrong and hurt yourself!

Chun-Akane: (ignoring Ranma) Now Akane, what was I doing?

Akane: Blocking all my moves...

Ryu-onna: Yes, but even deeper than that, what was she doing?

Akane: She was...(widens eyes as realization dawns)readingthem...

Chun-Akane: (smiling) Like a book. It's important for a fighter to
know what move his her opponent is going to make next. It's even
more important for a fighter to learn how to hide his or her own
moves.

Ryu-onna: Now Ranma, you've seen Chun Li-San teach. Do you sort of
have inkling about what you're supposed to do?

Ranma-onna: (mumbling) Yeah, I guess so.

Chun-Akane: Remember, allow yourself to get hit.

Ryu-onna: And don't forget to mention the positive.

Chun-Akane: And contain yourself. Don't pull moves you know she can't
possibly counter.

Ryu-onna: And don't be so afraid of hurting her. A bruise or two only
makes one stronger.

Chun-Akane: AND most IMPORTANTLY....

Both: NO INSULTS!!! (glare of death)

Ranma-onna: (sweatdrops) Okay, okay...No insults. Got it.

Chun-Akane: (smiles sweetly) If we've got that all down, I believe
we're ready to start. We'll start with no fancy stuff. Ready, GO!

[a little whereas away, Cammy and Sakura are sitting across from each
other. They have found a go board and are now busily playing. Both
jump as a sudden crashing sound is heard]

Ranma-onna: I don't think I've seen anybody that clumsy!

Akane; SHUT UP! HYYAAAA! (throws a kick that he flies over)

Ranma-onna: Nyaa nyaa nyaa! Watch out, you're gonna trip on your own
two-AUUGG!

Ryu-onna: HADOUKEN!

Chun-Akane: KIOKEN!

[Cammy and Sakura raise their respective eyebrows as the two
projectiles slam into their unfortunate target. Ranma coughs and
falls to the ground, a smoking heap. He gets up a second later to
defend himself against his very angry fiancée]

Ranma-onna: Okay, no insults. No insults. Must be positive. Must be
positive. Must let her hit me. Must let her hit me. NGggg (fights
overwhelming urge to duck as Akane throws a punch, blocking it with
his arms instead)...G-g-good p-punch. Lot's of...er...strength behind
it...

Akane: HYAA! (throws another punch which he blocks with his arm)

Ranma-onna: Ha! Someone here's sl-errr (glances at the silhouettes of
Ryu and Chun Li, both ready to fry him if he makes another mean
comment)...um...learn to distract me while throwing a punch. Then it
might actually connect.

Akane: HUP! (roundhouse kick. He grabs her leg before it can reach him
and pushes it away)

Ranma-onna: Good try, but be faster. It's very easy for a person to
grab you and use your precarious balance to throw you to the ground.
Thankfully you're fighting me. A dumb move like that could get you
really hurt.

Akane: (stops fighting and stares at ground. voice is dangerously
quiet) Why didn't you then?

Ranma-onna: Why didn't I what?

Akane: Why didn't you use my precarious balance to throw me to the
ground?

Ranma-onna: I...I...

Akane: And why couldn't you hit me back any of those times I left
myself open?

Ranma-onna: I...didn't want to...hurt you...

Akane: So you think I can't take it? You think that somehow, by not
touching me, you're going to protect me? Am I going to be tougher
this way? (voice gets louder)

Ranma-onna: I just...

Akane: And why did you have to catch me when I was sparring against
Chun Li? Does Ryu catch her whenever she's about to fall?

Ranma-onna: But she's...

Akane: I can't believe you Ranma! You said you were going to help me
train, but I can't learn to defend myself unless YOU attack! I...I
may never have been as good a fighter as you, but before you came, I
was a fighter. Now, because of you and you're STUPID CHIVALRY ACT, I'm
degenerating into nothing more than a...a...(stops suddenly as tears
fill her eyes) Oh... (runs off)

Ranma-onna: A-Akane! Wait!! (watches as she runs into the house) What
did I do wrong?

Ryu-onna: ... I don't know. I thought you were being a pretty good
teacher near the end there.

Chun-Akane: (sighs) I think she was expecting more... (the three of
them look at each other and frown)

[Meanwhile at the go board]

Sakura: Now that was interesting...that guy Ranma's such a chauvinist.

Cammy: Mmhmm...

Sakura: Though that Akane girl does tend to make a big fuss out of
little things.

Cammy: You've got that right.

Sakura: (smiles an all knowing smile) They're a match made in heaven.

Cammy: Whatever you say, dear friend.

Sakura: (returns to the game) Now where were we?

Cammy: You're move...

Sakura: (looks at go board intensely. Eyes widen suddenly) HEY! YOU
CHEATED!!

Cammy: Did not! (looks everywhere except at Sakura and whistles)

Nabiki: (walks in) What? You two cheat at 'go' too? Are all 'go'
players this pathetic?

[Meanwhile, somewhere far away]

Soun Tendo: ACHOO!

Genma Saotome: ACHOO!

Soun Tendo: That's strange...Dear friend, I do believe someone's
talking about us...

Genma Saotome: Indeed, dear friend. But who?

(cue suspicious music)